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Week 43—Shock—What to Do When Discovering Shocking Info About an Ancestor

In the early days of my genealogy research journey, I learned from a small newspaper account that my great-grandfather had died in Sheridan, Wyoming. This was in the 1990s when research was done mostly by writing letters and sending self-addressed stamped envelopes. I found the address of the public library and sent off a request for his obituary.

A week later, my SASE came back. I loved that time of researching in pre-Internet days of finding SASEs in the mailbox. This one was thicker than I expected. My mail did not include an obituary, but rather a long newspaper article about the death of my grandfather.

It was an unusual death. He died from drinking carbolic acid.

At first, I have to admit, I was kind of excited. This wasn’t a boring, everyday death. We have no famous people or people who have done remarkable things. When you find something unusual like this you want to share it.

Sharing with my genealogy friends was fine. They all thought it was interesting. He had been to a bar, but had no money and no one would buy him a drink. According to the account, he was distraught and the bartender found him in a side room in “a state of more or less misery.” The doctor was called and “watched him die.”

Later, when many newspapers became available online and could be globally searched, I found this story was carried in many newspapers, including in San Francisco.

I shared the article with one of my aunts, who took interest in what I was finding in my research. As a devout Catholic, she was distressed to learn her grandfather had committed suicide. I felt horrible that I had shared the story the way I did. 

I have since taken care in revealing information that might shock or disturb family members. The truth is important, but care can be taken in how we reveal the information. After more research, I see that alcoholism and mental health issues run in the family and others have been affected by them, too. Events don’t happen in isolation. It is important to learn as much as possible and try to get the whole story.

It was a real shame about my great-grandfather. He was reportedly a talented tailor, but alcohol was his downfall.

This is my fourth year working on this year-long prompt, hosted by Amy Johnson Crow. I will write each week in one of my two blogs, either Mam-ma’s Southern Family or at My Trails Into the Past. I have enjoyed writing about my children’s ancestors in new and exciting ways.


Copyright © 2021 by Lisa S. Gorrell, My Trails into the Past. All Rights Reserved.

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